Distance. From your children or grandchildren or other special little (and big!) ones in your life. Maybe due to traveling at length for work or pleasure, or a divorce and shared (or not so shared) custody, or living far far away, or…

Distance. It can be tough. When we feel the distance we often feel less connected. And isn’t it connection we all want?

Maybe you worry a bit (or a lot) about your relationship with your child or other special little and big one in your life because you can’t be together as much as you’d like. That real and meaningful connection you want? It is hard to get.

Enter in all things technology. It has been a blessing in so many ways for it allows us TO connect even when we are far away. You Skype, often! Now your favorite little and big ones can see your face, hear you, leave your heart filled and probably a bit achy since you still can’t REALLY be with them. You text. Often through the day to feel that connection, to check in, to let them know you care, to share a funny story, to encourage. Or maybe you just call and chat over the phone, or Face Time, since we can, now.

And yet with all this desire to be connected and use technology’s latest and greatest, I believe we are missing something very important.  Something that can grow relationships in rich and meaningful and lasting ways.

It’s called mail.

Postcards. Letters. Packages. Mail–sent the “old fashioned” way. Slowly–or not so slowly with overnight-ing ability. Postcards that share a picture and a quick story. Letters that are filled with adventures and thoughts and love. Packages that delight upon opening with all the little surprises tucked inside.

It surprises me as I talk to more and more grandparents who bemoan living far away from their grandchildren AND light up when they say they get to Skype them regularly…yet have never even considered writing to them.

Here’s the deal. Those postcards and letters? They can do far more for building relationships and creating meaningful connection then any screen technology can.

Maybe not immediately–like screens can–but long term. Over time.

Just the way relationships are meant to be grown.

Think about this. When you write a postcard to a young child in your life, they get to open the mail box. Find a physical item just from YOU inside it. Have their mama or papa read it to them. Study the photo and writing. Hold it, bend it, hide it, hang it, re-read it over and over and over again.

On your next Skype you get to talk about it and it becomes a tangible item they can hold and refer to as you, perhaps, extend the story you told on the postcard into your Skype time. Then if you are really lucky, as I have been, you get to go VISIT your special little one IN PERSON and have your heart filled as they lead you into their bedroom and show you the PILE of postcards and letters they’ve received and go through them all over again. Stories shared, joy felt, giggles and laughter and sorting and piling and flipping and thumb-tacking and folding…all over again.

And if you are writing an older child? Maybe less “hands on” action with that letter or postcard, and yet the same impact. Something received that can be held, read, deciphered if it is in “chicken scratch” as my writing can look, picked up and read again, tucked in a journal or drawer or folded and put into a pocket to be saved for later. Referred to, elaborated upon, saved.

You can’t do that with Skype or Face Time or Zoom.

Both my daughters received postcards and letters and packages from grandparents and other special people in their lives–all through their childhood. You know what is especially cherished–now that their G’mom passed away? The literal albums of cards they kept from her–that’s how they decided to save them, in albums. That’s how important they have been to them. They return to them, relish them, relive them. And because of this, they now write their own special buddies often–and those special buddies? Now aged 4 and 9? Even though they rarely see my daughters, they have relationships that run deep. That are truly meaningful and full of stories and memories and experiences. And it is the postcards and letters and packages that have magnified all of this. Created it!

And the cool thing? These buddies in their lives write THEM.  Paper and cards and tape and markers come out. Imagination and creativity fostered. Letters practiced. Stories told. Stamps picked out. Envelopes licked. Post offices visited to drop the mail in. And then the excitement over just WHEN those cards will be received. Oh the JOY. And of course, awaiting the letter or card bound to come back to them :-).

All from REAL mail.

Try it today. Write a quick note. Share a funny story about what you saw a squirrel do out your window. Tell something about the recipe you tried and how it ended up being rather…not so good! Mention the snow that fell and how you want to do snow angels soon. Share about a tough job or ideas for the next time you will be together or tell a joke.

Maybe just draw a quick picture, add a few stickers, and send it off. Postcards are great for they can inspire a story. And children of ALL ages enjoy stories.

And now that distance you feel? It can be cherished for you are filling it with real and meaningful CONNECTION that builds relationships in lovely ways. That ache you feel? It is warmed a bit as you discover inside your mailbox a letter written to YOU. Now you get to hold, relish, savor, read, tuck away, save. To bring out once again as you need to warm your heart all over again.

Find Alice’s books here!

Go write. I promise you will discover a richness and joy that might just catch you by surprise. And it will totally DELIGHT whomever you write to!

With JOY and appreciation,

Alice

Author and Parent Coach

©2018 Alice Hanscam