What happens to childhood when we are constantly

filming (and posting) our kids’ every antic?

I so appreciate this article: Their Tube: When every moment of childhood can be recorded and shared, what happens to childhood?

Aside from the marketing directed at kids (something very disturbing and deserves real scrutiny and discretion), this is a trend I believe can have real negative repercussions when done as a way of life. And YES it is also completely understandable because we truly love watching our kids and all their antics and want to share with friends and family so they won’t miss out…and yet…  

I think so much can be lost. Here’s why:

~ It means we, the adults–instead of simply observing (and soaking it up!)–are distracted by OUR screen as we work at filming our kids, and often taking time to then share on social media. When this is our norm–filming everything–our attention to our device rather than being fully present to our child can communicate to our kids that it is the device and “all those out there” that are most important. Probably not what any of us intend.

~ It means our children are more focused “out there.” Focused on all those potential viewers OR on just seeing themselves doing something “on camera.” Which, by the way, IS totally fun–yet when it’s the norm, their play is getting constantly interrupted and directed less by what they like, feel, imagine, create and way more by how those “out there” may respond, may like, may want.

In order to grow well, our kids need lots of

time and opportunity to tune into their feelings, ideas, thoughts, how their body feels–discovering who THEY are as individuals, rather than who they think they need to be for the attention and “likes” and accolades of online life.

 

~ Our kids are distracted. Instead of getting lost in their play, in their own imagination and ideas; instead of staying focused at length (so very very necessary for all things learning and success through life), they are constantly stopping their play to “watch themselves” or check the “likes”, or seeing if they are doing what it is they saw another doing on-line in just the “right way.” They are constantly interrupting their own thought process to check in on “out there.” What a way to undermine exactly what is needed to learn–ability to focus and attend at LENGTH. To imagine. To create. To fire from the inside-out.

~ Our kids are more caught up in “staging” their play (or copying another’s idea) rather than getting lost in their OWN ideas and feeling good about them. Our kids are learning their self-worth depends on the attention they get from “out there” rather than from the inside-out–something we want to avoid, especially as we think about those teen years and how important it is for our teens to feel their self-worth comes from inside themselves rather than turning to peers for constant approval. Especially when those peers are pushing for sex or drugs or alcohol.

PAUSE today. Consider stepping

away from filming and recording. Try observing in”real time”

for a while. Give your children the opportunity to just

be themselves FOR themselves.

 

What a way to communicate confidence in who they are; that they are important and valued as they are. Encourage lengthy play time to be creative and imaginative.

And when you do quietly record them? Make it special. A treat. Then put your phone away and let them get on with their play. And just think! Now you have a story to share with friends and family, rather than a video. And stories? They can be rich and meaningful when shared. Talk about using OUR imagination, too!  

Childhood is meant for this. To play, explore, do a child’s work--without needing constant attention and what they see as “approval” from all those viewers “out there.” Or to get all their ideas from another.

Go play today! Un-distracted. Creatively. At length. And enjoy. What a gift to your children AND to their childhood.

 

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Respectfully,

Alice

Author and Parent Coach
©2016 Alice Hanscam