Part and Parcel of the Parenting Package:
...upon returning home from your much needed Time Away and looking forward and feeling ready to once again being the parent you love to be, your kids–maybe following that simply amazing initial hug and out-pouring of l-o-v-e–start whining and clinging and pushing-pushing-pushing until all YOU want is ANOTHER Time Away! Sigh…deep deep breath….
…you FINALLY are getting a decent nights sleep. You’ve worked ever so hard at creating a routine, at standing gentle and firm in “you sleep in your own bed”, at resisting the first whimper at 2 a.m. until you are certain it is truly a need…and sleep is had. Until today. Illness or new teeth or an out-of-town guest or SOMETHING different and all that work at SLEEP? It vaporizes…
...heart wrenching moments. Tons of them. From watching your little one SCREAM and reach for you as you leave after dropping them at day-care, to the intensely hurt feelings as your child deals with truly unkind “friends” at school, to the emotional roller coaster your teen goes on sobbing one day and screaming at you the next, to those times when you just don’t KNOW where your newly driving teen IS. And they are late. Very, very late.
…heart WARMING moments. Tons of them. Those snuggles and shared eye-twinkles and belly laughing stories. Looking at your little one tucked into bed, sound asleep just like an angel :-). Being told by your teen your words and presence and hug meant a lot to them. When that little hand slips itself into yours…your lap is climbed into…your child flashes YOU the quick smile or trusts YOU with the sad feelings and tear-filled eyes…
…Confusion. Uncertainty. Frustration. YOURS. Not knowing if what you are doing is “right.” Wondering what to DO when your child does…fill in the blank :-). Feeling at your wits end with certain rather button-pushing and relentless behavior. Thinking you are totally ALONE in your troubles…(you aren’t, by the way. Lots of company in all of it…really!). Always feeling like you are running to catch up and yet you never really catch up for something new is always being thrown your way…
….RELIEF. To find your child okay after something scary. To have the potential blow-up NOT blow up. To have the babysitter arrive…finally! To decide just to pour a bowl of cereal for dinner or let go of whatever activity or commitment there was and just stay home or finally FINALLY getting a chance to B-R-E-A-T-H-E. Or go to the bathroom by yourself :-).
…JOY. Overwhelming, heart filling, lift-you-to-the-moon JOY. The spontaneous hugs and “I love yous.” The success of a child’s persistence whether in a sport, a project, a class, an anything. Watching them persist, be determined, stick to something hard…and SUCCEED. Now that fills us with joy! Or maybe it’s watching them side-by-side with a buddy, heads together, poring over something they both are enjoying, whispering, delighting together. JOY from “That’s MY child!” JOY because “Oh, that smile and giggle of theirs…” JOY due to meaningful time together–kicking your feet through fall leaves, strolling through the woods, reading endless books, holding each other during the Great Big Sad moments–yes, even that can bring JOY.
Part and Parcel of the Parenting Package. Thank you to my friend and colleague Rhonda Moskowitz, for this quote…!
Ultimately?
ALL of these parts add up to be the rich and
meaningful relationships that make up our Parenting Package. One filled with deeply connected relationships.
Ultimately, living fully and living well.
Know that whatever you are in the midst of–whether heart-wrenching, joy-filled, or just plain FRUSTRATING–it is part and parcel of an amazing journey. In time you may even be able to come up for air and appreciate all parts of it…
Maybe. Definitely in time. For now, know that you have plenty of company no matter “where” you are in your parenting journey. Plenty.
Alice
Author and Parent Coach
©2018 Alice Hanscam