I discovered WholeHearted School Counseling of recent. I encourage you to go check them out…Facebook link here; online store here. Check them out especially for helping your children manage any anxiety or fear…and yourself. They have a poster that I find wonderful. Below I share their statements in bold (with the slight change of replacing “but” with “AND”!) along with a bit from me. I hope it helps YOU as you navigate not only our pandemic, but life in general:
#1) This IS tough. AND so are you. 
Your resilience shows in how you move through each day parenting to the best of your ability; how you navigate the chaos raising children inevitably brings. Your resilience shines when your child needs you, is sick, sad, or frustrated. It is the very resilience that can have you emerging from the other side of our pandemic, of ANY challenge no matter the size, well and whole. It IS tough AND so are you.
#2) You may not be able to control this situation AND you are always in charge of how you respond.
HOW we choose to respond to any situation directly influences and creates our experience, which then becomes our reality. THIS is key, for this is what we can control no matter the uncertainty and chaos around us. And it can be tough, for it requires us first to PAUSE…calm our selves…get clear about what it is we want…and then step back into whatever our situation is and respond based on this. So today? Start with a PAUSE.
#3) I haven’t figured this out…YET.
This is so very essential! Without the word “yet” we can feel defeated. We can feel like throwing in the towel and thinking like we’ll NEVER figure it out/get through it/come out the other side. With “yet”? An entirely different feeling comes up–POSSIBILITIES. The “YET” allows us to look around, be curious, problem solve, trust, feel empowered, ACT.
Sometimes it can sound like, as you struggle with a personal challenge, “I’ve had this problem up until now.” This, rather than, “I have this problem.” Or it can sound like, “My child has been struggling with this up until now” rather than “My child struggles with this.”
See the difference? Or rather, FEEL the difference? I hope so.
#4) This challenge is here to teach me something…
Okay, I know it can be rather simple to see struggles with our kids and personal struggles as opportunities to learn and grow, even when we wish they’d just go away. This bigger one we are all in the midst of? That gets harder, doesn’t it? And yet…what gifts and opportunities IS our current world situation–a pandemic–bringing us?
I think opportunities to:
~ Be intentional with how we connect with our loved ones–those physically with us, those isolated somewhere else. Intentional ways to connect, creative ways to connect, perhaps surprisingly fun ways to connect! And to discover how filled we can be as we remain fully present to the one we are connecting to.
~ Simplify life; OR learn to let go of stressing over the mess of life feeling more complicated as we juggle working at home, kids with us 24/7, our patience and creativity tapped at length…learning to let go is tough. And yet, the more we can, the more we find we can flow with the chaos rather than fight it. This can have us relaxing a bit more…really!
~ Find joy in the littlest things. Or at least a quick smile.
~ Strengthen our compassionate selves–perhaps first by showing ourselves compassion for all the upset we are feeling and experiencing; then reaching out to another.
~ Spread love, appreciation, gratefulness, even JOY in little and big ways. Through the smile and wave you share with a neighbor, the bears in windows (do you know of the “Going on a bear hunt” game spreading through neighborhoods?) you and your child discover on your walk outside, the groceries you leave on a sick neighbors doorstep, the funny/meaningful/positive focused video you share with the world (plenty of those going around!).
~ Turn within, grow ourselves from the inside out, strengthen our faith, trust, inner selves. Whether it is your relationship with God, the Universe, your Self. No matter. It is the opportunity to discover that strong foundation from which you grow and live. For it is there. And it makes a life-affirming difference as we pay attention to it. As my husband might say, “Go grow YOUR rock today.”
~ Fill our NOW with what lifts us–music? Art? Laughter? Hugs? Outdoor time? Prayer? Meditation? Wrestling matches with our kids? Saying NO to vacuuming and dishes and YES to playing with our kids?
What more can you add?
#5) All you need to do is take the next step, breathe, and do what feels like the next right thing to do.
YES. The power of NOW–it is all we really have, and in some ways quite simple–you *just* have to focus on the next right thing to do. Breathing deeply works wonders to calm your body and focus your thoughts…allowing you to trust the next step you take.
Really. Try it. Whether it is because you are filled with anxiety or your kids are REALLY pushing your button. It is the PAUSE that can steady you and help you step into the NEXT right thing more clearly, calmly, feeling a connection that can make the next right thing truly relationship-building. This is, quite simply, the most important thing of all. Relationships. And you can make a real difference with the NEXT right thing you choose to do.
Know that each of my books can help you with all of the above 🙂 Thank you to WholeHearted School of Counseling for inspiring me today. You, too?
Be well and thrive,
Alice
Author and Parent Coach
©2020 Alice Hanscam