True confessions…
…I’ve screamed
…I’ve spanked
…I’ve slammed doors
…I’ve cried often
…I’ve threatened things I then didn’t follow through on–and other times DID no matter the cost
…My “No NO NO” has turned to “OK OK OK,” just please stop whining, arguing, fighting (AKA driving me nuts)!
…I’ve spent entire days feeling guilty about the blow up in the morning, awaiting the return of my child from school so I can feel better…
…I’ve plunked my kids in front of the TV just to get a much needed break
…I’ve grabbed arms too roughly, slammed desired items down onto the table, been extra harsh in the hope of driving MY point home.
…I’ve struggled.
I have also…
…Apologized heart-fully
…Learned to PAUSE so I could calm down
…Intentionally hugged my bristly teens each morning no matter the level of angst in the house
…Closed doors extra firmly (well, hey, there’s got to be room for growth!)
…Stuck to my promises
…Stayed strong in my decisions
…Let my kids be mad, sad, disappointed
…Let go of making my kids see my point (okay, again, this is a work in progress!)
…Got creative in order to get the break I needed without resorting to TV-something I felt strongly about
…Intentionally ‘gentled’ myself so I could hold arms carefully, place desired things on the table respectfully, speak calmly no matter how MAD I felt.
I have grown and continue to grow. And you can and are as well.
Know you have good company on this parenting journey–your struggles are shared, understood, appreciated; your successes celebrated. Be gentle with yourself so you can be so with your children. 
Tipping the balance in favor of respectful and positive relationships is essential–this is not about perfection, this is about growth. If we reach for perfection we undermine our ability to accept and grow in the moment.
Know the kind of parent you intend to be and let that drive you forward in the tough times and relish it in the successful times. Keep your sight fixed on who you want to be, on each struggle as an opportunity to learn from, each success as true strengthening of the muscles you want to grow the most.
Allow yourself to grow.
What a gift to our children as they watch us welcome the ups and downs of our growth and watch us strive–always strive–to be better. Now they can, too.
Make it fabulous today!
Alice
Author and Parent Coach
©2017 Alice Hanscam