You are about to welcome in a new baby. Or maybe just have.
Congratulations!
Feeling confident and competent as a parent, deeply and wonderfully connected with your little one(s) is what we hope and strive for as we welcome children into our lives.
It can be daunting, thinking of the responsibilities we have as parents; it can be challenging as we go through periods of uncertainty and exhaustion; it can be one of the most fulfilling experiences of your (and your baby’s) life. 
You’ve set yourself up with a growing understanding of feeding, bathing, diapering, sleeping, care-giving in general. Time to also consider how to set up the tech environment your baby will be raised in. A bit surprising to have to think of this and incredibly essential to do so for growing the healthy, loving, deeply connected relationship you intend; crucial for supporting your little one’s optimal brain growth; critical for healthy growth and development to excel.
What do babies need to thrive?
A tuned-in, responsive care-giver, answering their needs in a timely and respectful manner, being present and focused especially during care-giving moments—feeding, diapering, assisting sleep, bathing…
What do parents strive for?
Healthy and deeply connected relationships with their little ones; feeling confident and capable throughout their parenting journey; thriving children and families. Some things to think about:
• Consider relationships in your life that you relish. What helps you feel and nurture the deep connection that define these?
• What does connection look and feel like as you relate in-person with others you feel close to?
• When have you felt best about connecting meaningfully with another?
• Consider times you’ve felt truly confident and capable; what would it be like to feel this way as you parent your little one? How can being intentional with the environment you set up support you in this?
• In what ways has technology enhanced the most meaningful relationships in your life?
• In what ways has technology detracted from connecting meaningfully with another?
What do you need to know?
Being tech aware and intentional with your use, your baby’s use and exposure, you are more likely to foster the healthy and deeply connected relationships that can have your baby thriving. Key issues include:
• How screens impact your baby’s healthy brain development—what screen use can be healthy, what is not. FaceTime with a grandparent with you there, talking and interacting can be a wonderful way to nurture connected relationships; plunking your baby by themselves in front of a device 
counters this healthy development. It is in the first 3 years that our brains develop the most rapidly, and it is with hands-on, sensory and language rich, relationship and whole-body based experiences that this occurs. Screens displace these experiences, impeding our baby’s brain development.
• Your awareness of and respect for baby’s rhythms and your ever-growing understanding of your little one’s communications are key for answering their needs; Your responsiveness to baby’s coos, cries, smiles, gurgles, and wiggles is the essential socialization and communication foundational for healthy physical and emotional development, as well as relationships. Your timely responsiveness is key for baby to feel settled and secure and able to grow well. Distraction by and overuse of our devices while with baby undermines this.
• Providing baby with devices to be entertained or distracted by undermines her ability to self-regulate and communicate her needs; displaces crucial social emotional time with her primary caregivers (you!); interrupts the development of a healthy brain; displaces the meaningful and responsive connection with and from you that is key for your baby to grow optimally.
There are important and at times seemingly little moments to pay attention to. They can be easily missed if we are distracted by our devices. Our ability to respond appropriately and timely is key. These little moments? They become the foundation for the warm and wonderful relationship you intend to build. They become the foundation for all future learning.
How can you create a healthy tech environment that supports and fosters healthy growth and relationships?
Consider your use of devices and how they step up to enhance or detract connecting meaningfully and accurately (in regards to understanding your baby’s expression of needs). Ideas:
- Put your phone down and perhaps out of sight and silenced as you feed, converse, diaper, bathe, or otherwise interact with your baby. Give them the gift of your full attention as much as you can.
- Turn off background noise from devices (certain kinds of music being the exception) to better support your little one’s ability to fully focus on and appropriately explore and engage their environment; to engage YOU.
- Be sure to, when needing to use a device, speak directly with your baby about what you will be doing and when they can expect your full attention once again. This communicates respect; and with your consistent follow through, you communicate trust–baby can count on what you say you mean and will do. Relationship-building.
Consider our knowledge that little to no screen time for our babies and toddlers is essential for their healthy development. Know that providing lots of free time to explore, stretch on a blanket on the floor, look at and touch objects (and you!)–all with your responsive self tuned in to when needs emerge–will support the growth of a little one able to self-regulate, feel secure and safe, able to play “on their own” for stretches of time. No need to distract with a screen. And now their brains are growing exponentially!
Consider background noise from devices and televisions—as a regular occurrence these distract and interrupt your little one’s ability to attend to their own explorations of their world; it can limit imagination and reflection time necessary for growing from the inside-out–key for self-regulating, problem solving, feeling capable and competent, for all learning! This includes those constant text pings even though your phone is tucked away.
Be intentional with how and when you use your devices so they no longer impede your baby’s development and your deepening bond with them. Be intentional with how you think forward through the early years—just what can be healthy use especially in regards to how children learn by hands on, sensory and language rich, relationship-based, whole body experiences. 
Questions to ask yourself
What are some steps you will take today with your tech use to ensure your ability to deposit fully into your relationship with your little one?
What are some things you can do differently in your home as you consider a healthy tech environment for your little one?
How would it feel to know you are providing your child with all that they need to thrive?
Be tech intentional with your environment, your use, your baby’s exposure. Know that this can help you foster the development of a healthy brain, ready for all future learning and nurture a relationship you will cherish. Really! Now go enjoy welcoming in your new little one and feel confident you are providing her with all that she needs to thrive.
With JOY and appreciation,
Alice
Author and Parent Coach
©2020 Alice Hanscam