A story for you…
A full airplane. A mama, grandmom, and 3.5-year-old. Mr. 3.5 was strapped into his carseat, fully FULLY engaged with peeling itty-bitty stickers off of a sticker sheet and ever-so-carefully poking them into place upon his knee.
Great concentration. Wonderful fine-motor work 
. Grandmom and Mama watching, occasionally commenting, definitely enjoying. Me, too. I was across the aisle.
Mr. 3.5 finished filling his knee with stickers, looked at the empty sticker sheet, and promptly began peeling each itty-bitty sticker off the knee he had just filled and transferring them one at a time to his OTHER knee.
Again, concentration. Focus. Total involvement. One finger poking them into place ever so carefully. Totally fun watching him do his work!
Mama and I spoke (really, how could I resist?!). I mentioned how focused and intent her little guy was and how cool it was to see him engaged in this rather than (and, yes, if you follow me you know what is coming next) being handed a screen to watch.
I mentioned how incredible this simple activity was for building his brain.
And Mama said, “We used to use screens. No more. He was diagnosed with speech delay. Ever since we focused on other activities for him, his speech has caught up!”
Mama was quite pleased, and then showed me the books they brought along for the ride, more stickers (since her son LOVED stickers!), and other airplane activities–including Grandmom–who, as the plane took off, pointed and talked and commented on all Mr. 3.5 was seeing out his window (a momentary pause from sticker work…)
Speech delay. Just one of the many things to be aware of as a result of your little one being exposed to too much screen time.
Think about it–each time they are “plugged in” there is LESS language and conversation from/with you. The language often used by us (if we use any at all) with our kids when they are “on a screen” is simplified to things like “push there/swipe that/see that.” Rarely the rich language we use in conversation or when involved in hands on activities or exploration.
And it is this rich language in real time with an important-to-them adult that has our little ones’ brains firing away, building all those neural pathways necessary for ALL things, speech included.
Even OUR screen time can be a part of a young child’s speech delay—the more we are distracted, the less we respond to our children in meaningful, rich, connected ways.
The more we CAN give our full presence no matter how brief, our respect as shown by our full presence, our meaningful words because now we are tuned in to just what they are doing or what we are trying to communicate to our little ones, the more THEY can grow in optimal ways. Simple. Hard at times. Often exhausting. And worth it.
Absolutely worth it.
And just think–when our children do have the ability to understand our meaningful and naturally more complex language AND speak (or sign!) it, it means LESS frustration and falling apart and acting out making our job just a bit easier. Now that’s something to think about!
Kudos to this Mama. She learned the hard and concerning way, intentionally created positive change, and glows as a result. Her son is thriving. And sleeping, now. Thank goodness because Mama was tired, too…. All that sticker work exhausted him!
A story to consider.
Check out the Screen Time Action Network for more help, resources, support, encouragement.
Alice
Author and Parent Coach
©2018 Alice Hanscam
Incredible post Alice. I felt like I was right there with you observing this child and his mom.
You offer new moms some very specific reasons to resist just handing over a screen to keep their child engaged.
Thank you. There really are so many reasons to make screens one of the last things you resort to. It can take extra time and patience, and in the long run it can actually make parenting easier. Though I know it sure can be tough in the moment, at times!