…trust. In what I say, do, feel. Trust in life.
The gift of this is the impact and influence on relationships this has. As any of us pursue greater mindfulness in life, we discover–maybe in just bits and pieces at first–how good this feels. How we feel more energized, connected, calm. And with many parents I’ve worked with I’ve had the honor of watching how this positively influences their children. How life calms down a bit, de-intensifies, is less rocky and chaotic. No matter what the situation is.
When this space and stillness that PAUSE allows is missing, conflict and challenge take over. They permeate our life to the point of us assuming this is the norm and our reactivity becomes a way of life and interacting. We forget what it can feel like to have the deeper, more meaningful connection with another; with our children that really can leave us feeling a JOY like no other.
We may feel tired. We may feel like we can barely keep our head above water. We often fall into the blame game, find ourselves immersed in guilt and/or anger. Even as we do practice and grow our Pause Muscle, we find we can still slip into this reactive place at times…and yet, it CAN be different. You CAN tip the balance.
You can feel the calmer, more centered and stable place more and more often. Start right now. Perhaps close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, telling yourself this is the space of a PAUSE. Or keep your eyes open as you watch your children squabble, play, work…and just watch for a moment. That’s all. Maybe gaze out your window or down into your cup of coffee. Let your gaze soften a bit and know that that is a PAUSE, too. You’ve just created a bit of space that allows a bit of stillness in.
That’s all. Begin there. Know that what you focus on grows, so those little bits? They add up over time. I remember back in the day when I was a nanny and had all the kids loaded up in my car ready to roll, I’d pause. Shut my eyes and just sit in the driver’s seat. The kids would holler and ask what I’m doing, why aren’t we going…and I’d tell them I’m starting out being quiet for a moment. Interesting thing was, in time, they did the same. Stayed quiet in their carseats and waited for me. I created a PAUSE for them, as well. Children need to pause, too.
Bring a bit of space and stillness into your life by strengthening your ability to PAUSE. What we focus on grows, so each little bit? It counts. Hugely, in the long run. You and all your relationships are worth it. What a gift to all!
With JOY,