Just Ask Alice

Respectful mama and papa moments truly appreciated:

 

~ The mama of a 13-month-old working hard at climbing up a ladder to reach the top of a slide. Young Toddler was quite focused on placing his feet with care, practicing up and down motions with each leg on each ladder rung, pausing to take in other kids’ antics around him, then back to navigating the steep upward climb he was on. This mama? She stayed quietly behind him, never interrupting, always watchful. She gave him his space to navigate on his own time. And when he reached the top? Oh his JOY over his accomplishment! And it was HIS accomplishment. Mama’s eyes twinkled at mine, for I was happily watching from the other side. Her respect shown to her young toddler to do his own work at his own pace spoke volumes to this little guy.

~The mama with a 3-year-old who has decided dogs make him quite worried…any dog, any size. Her calm self offering up her arms as he decides a dog is too close to him (this includes the ones 50-feet away and on a leash walking the opposite direction ), her soothing words as she names his worry, her respect for how long he needs to be close to her and when he decides he is ready to move away on his own. Quiet, calm, affirming…respectful.

~The papa of a 9-month-old baby in the midst of meeting many new folk always asking his little one first whether she was ready for Grandma, for Auntie, for another to hold her...and respecting her response as she either clung more tightly to papa or leaned out to the new person. Asking first, observing with care, describing what he saw, “You aren’t ready for Susan to hold you” or “You’d like to see Uncle Charlie!”, and then respecting his little one by holding her longer, or passing her over–always staying near and ready to receive her right back as needed. What a way to communicate “your feelings are valued and important…” So truly respectful.

~The parents of a kindergartner who have intentionally chosen to parent entirely differently from how they were each brought up. They both decided that “Because I TOLD you so” would not be in their vocabulary for it was always hurtful to them as they grew up in their respective households…and instead to state gently to the ever-negotiating 5-year-old, “Because I’ve asked you to…”  What a simple change of words that expresses such respect. Lovely.