A story for you…
A Mama, Papa, and 5-month-old baby. Baby tucked in her car seat on her stroller (in a public place) with a rather large and colorful stuffed octopus hanging from the handle in front of her. Mama sitting next to Baby, talking on her cell and awaiting the food her husband was getting. 
Baby straining her head side to side, doing everything she was capable of to avoid Mr. Octopus. Fussing followed. Back arching beginning. Mama, noticing the fussing and back arching, pushed Mr. Octopus aside and lifted Baby out and onto her lap. Baby calmed…settled…
Food arrived. Baby gets tucked back into her car seat and Mama smiles at her and hands her the scrunched up paper bag the food came in. Baby delights in it! Two chubby hands come together to explore this wonderful, plain, crunchy sounding ball of paper. Smiles and leg kicking! Then…over the side and onto the floor goes the bag. Baby strains to find it…
Mama notices…but leaves the bag on the floor and plops Mr. Octopus back in front of Baby. Baby immediately fusses, arches, looks anywhere but at Mr. Octopus. Now Papa comes to the rescue…and Baby comes back out and onto a lap and settles…
Why am I sharing this story? Mostly because of the subtleties of All Things Respectful to Baby.
We so often miss just what our babies are trying to communicate–perhaps because we are distracted, busy, or because we really don’t know what they’re trying to say to us, or because, well, we are just plain exhausted.
And really, these moments fill our days and ultimately add up to make a real difference in our relationships–and in making our job as parents easier. These little moments that seem inconsequential create, over time, the foundation and relationships we ultimately want.
The little moments in this story that I truly appreciated…
…the lap time Baby received. Being out of the car seat or any other restraint when-ever possible means more freedom of movement, more of the essential touching our babies need, more connection with important-to-them-adults. 
…the smiles and bits of talking she enjoyed from her Mama and Papa. Lovely moments of real and meaningful connection.
…the simplicity of a paper bag capturing her full attention! Simple, accessible, every-day items become rich playthings for our little ones.
These are important for connecting with Baby and strengthening the bond that is so essential for growing and living well.
What could have been different?
Noticing the struggle Baby had with Mr. Octopus and then respecting it by…
…Letting Baby know, “You are done with Mr. Octopus. Let’s move him out of the way…”
…Pausing and noticing how Baby might now respond to having this toy that she was done with respectfully removed.
…Asking, “Would you like to come out and sit on my lap?” prior to hauling her out.
…Retrieving the wonderful scrunchy paper bag that she delighted in and offering it back up.
…Recognizing how the simpler an item is the more a Baby can attend to it and enjoy it.
How can this make a difference?
Mama and Papa would learn a bit more about what makes Baby tick–making their job at parenting just a bit easier.
Baby would learn a bit more about how she feels, what she likes, that she can trust her parents to understand and answer her needs. The subtle yet powerful connection that results can leave Baby calmer and feeling safer–and therefore more content.
Mama and Papa can feel the subtle yet powerful confidence in understanding and knowing a bit more about who their daughter is–less guessing and more clarity in what works to best help their little one. What a way to deposit into a healthy, solid, positive relationship. What a way to grow the trust and respect necessary for leading healthy lives.
Small moments. Seemingly inconsequential.
Yet when we can become more intentional in how we interact from a respectful place starting with our babies, what a difference this makes through the years.
And the more we can do this, the less of a big deal it is when we ARE overwhelmed, exhausted, and unable to do anything other than haul our baby out or plunk the offending toy back in front of them…
Look for the small moments today. Be intentional with how you notice and decide to respond. They add up and can make a real and positive difference for you, for your child, for your relationships. It’s in the small moments where we can, over time, make the most difference and the biggest impact. Really.
With JOY and appreciation,
Alice
Author and Parent Coach
©2017 Alice Hanscam