Just Ask Alice

I find this photo beautiful and important. It shows so clearly CONNECTION. And the magic of connection is it begins and is absolutely essential from birth on.

Look at these two. They are touching. They are making eye contact. They are thinking, processing, learning–all because of their physical and emotional connection.

It is lovely–to be uninterrupted, relished quietly, noticed and appreciated. It is essential to *just* absorb, as these two are absorbing their moment together.

And if they “take” a toy from the other? That’s okay. Watch. See how each responds. Often it requires nothing from us other than observing and perhaps quietly stating what you see happening–“You took the block. He’d like it back.” Or, “You are having a turn with the block, I see that.” Or, “You gave her the block. She is giving it back. You are taking turns.” Or, “Hmmm. It makes you mad/sad that she took the block. You weren’t done playing with it.”

No need to pry the block from one hand to give it “back” to the other. No need to change their play and exploration. No need to swoop one of them up in order to stop any uncomfortable-to-us feelings that are expressed. No. What is needed is your connection to their moment. Quiet, calm, present, using words to describe as needed. A smile. A back rubbed. All while giving the safe space for little ones to discover a bit more about what its like to connect, meaningfully, with another. Tears included.

Just think of all the learning that is happening! From feelings to empathy to ownership to respect to taking turns to practice at reaching and grasping and holding and reaching once again to comfort to learning all about another person.

So much learning. All from CONNECTION.
Connection that says “YOU are a capable and competent learner!”