“You touched my soul and reminded me about what this country is all about and why it is so great. Let’s stop screaming at each other. Let’s just take care of each other. You made my day.” General Colin Powell, former Secretary of State.
Recently General Powell, upon responding to the gentleman who stopped to help him during a road side flat tire, spoke to how great we CAN be. Yes, he was speaking in regards to the USA, and I’d like to take it further.
Much further.
It struck me, “Let’s just take care of each other.” It seems to me this is spectacularly simple and absolutely essential.And it begins with each of us.There are many levels to what he has said. And it certainly pertains to our world, all our communities, everyone.
Taking care of ourselves.
Taking care of our children.
Taking care of how we think, feel, act.
Taking care with our words.
Taking care of our environment.
Taking care of our world.
“Let’s just take care of each other.” Then there is his first phrase, “Let’s stop screaming at each other.”
Oh YES. Again, in all ways. From the top down and the bottom up. Yet really, if we want our leaders and communities and ourselves to STOP screaming, to be calmer, to listen, to truly demonstrate “taking care…” then we need to do one very simple thing, first and foremost.
PAUSE. Always, always a PAUSE.
It begins with each and every one of US, this difference we can make for our world. It begins with a PAUSE.
A PAUSE that allows us to take a breath in a heated situation. To calm ourselves, even a bit. To consider with care just what it is we want the most–and I mean in the big picture, including and most especially as parents. The big picture takes you out of the heat of the moment–out of “I just want my child to BEHAVE!” and into just what that translates to as you see yourself successfully parenting a child towards a responsible, self-directed adulthood. Because often it isn’t about behaving a certain way in the moment..
It is about helping our children to learn to manage themselves in the long term in order to navigate life in healthy, affirming, productive, considerate, contributing ways, and building healthy relationships along the way.
That’s a whole other article and I’ve written plenty along those lines. Just peruse my blog and you’ll discover oh so much. Let’s step back to where we were, PAUSING, calming, considering with care all that our child (or world) has presented us with.
To consider just what we want the MOST for our child to learn in whatever the situation is that is pushing our button.
To consider just what WE need to say and do to respectfully and with care help them along this process learning is.
To then step in and respond, calmly, considerately, with CARE.Leave the screaming behind. Respond instead of react. What a way to communicate respect. What a way to demonstrate taking care of each other.What a way to touch another’s soul.
It requires us to focus on our selves, first and foremost. To truly be inner directed and outer focused. Inner directed coming from the steady, centered place from within. Outer focused meaning taking that steady, centered soul and extending outward to those around us, to touch another.
Just like the gentleman who stopped to help General Powell.
Just like the kind person in the grocery store who saw you were frazzled and let you in line ahead of her.
Just like the stranger who ran to rescue your child’s special blankey that blew away because your hands were full. Or just because.
Just like the neighbor who showed up at your doorstep with a plate of warm cookies and a welcoming smile.
Just like when you PAUSE in your day to accommodate your child’s need for a lap and a snuggle.
Just like...you fill in the blank.
This “taking care of each other?” It is all around us. Every single day. Everywhere you go. And remember, what you focus on, grows. You *just* have to look for it. Look around with appreciative eyes. Notice the kindness, the good, the courageous, the helping, the willingness, the twinkles, the JOY, the raw feelings shared, the opportunities that are always there to “take care” of another. To BE a helper, even if it is just how you think encouraging thoughts or sit silently with another in their grief, not knowing what to say.
Now consider the RESPECT that is now communicated. When we PAUSE, calm, reflect, respond; when we take care of ourselves, and intentionally care for others–we are communicating a deep care and RESPECT for all.
And when we can take care, be calm, connect from this respectful place, so many good things unfold. Productive things. Collaborative, cooperative, energizing things. Things that feel right, good, whole. Things that feel like GROWTH.
PAUSE. The cool thing? As we continue to get an overwhelming amount of opportunity to practice doing just this, we strengthen our pause muscle to the point where we have taken it deeper.
Now we CAN live from the steady, centered, inner-directed
place that allows us to influence and impact our children, world, all our relationships in life affirming ways.
Life affirming.
It struck me, “Let’s just take care of each other.”It seems to me this is spectacularly simple and absolutely essential. Today, take care of YOU so you can take care of and take care with others around you. Find Alice’s books here!
er the RESPECT that is now communicated. When we PAUSE, calm, reflect, respond; when we take care of ourselves, and intentionally care for others–we are communicating a deep care and RESPECT for all.