I have been asked if I’m “pro-attachment parenting, co-sleeping, full-term breastfeeding, baby-wearing, etc…” I have to admit, I had to look up what exactly some of these labels meant. This question gave me pause…
Labels can be powerful and often limiting.
They make it hard to be something else (especially when we label our children–and that deserves a post all on its own). Labels often create walls and put people in a defensive position. Labels can create ‘right vs wrong.’ And labels can be empowering, as well, providing identity, community, and encouragement.
So, what am I? If I need to put a name to it, I am pro-respectful parenting. Respecting children, parents, and myself. What does this mean?
That I encourage parents to discover what works in respect to them, to their child (and this includes understanding child development), to their situation and environment. I encourage parents to listen to and trust their intuition; to discover what works for them.
It is OKAY to:
…nurse, bottle, formula-feed; make your own baby-food or buy baby-food
…co-sleep, use a crib, hold your baby
…wean early or wean late; wean to a cup, wean to a bottle
…be a stay-at-home, work-outside-of-the-home, or work-at-home parent
…use pacifiers or thumbs or fists or breasts or…
…carry your baby close or give them lots of floor time
…let your baby or child work themselves to sleep or rock and keep them company until they are asleep
…use paper diapers or cloth diapers or maybe in your culture no diapers?
…ask for help and take only what works for you; ask for help and try on new ideas. Just ask for help when needed!
…parent positively…until you feel exhausted and then be a bit less positive (and then ask for help and take a break!)
…home-school, un-school, public school, private school, optional school
…go organic or non-organic; make meals or buy meals or enjoy someone else’s meal
…get a babysitter and take time for yourself or be 24/7 with your children
…label yourself and change your label
It is okay. Each and every one of us are on an amazing journey as parents. As we support and encourage each other in what works for ourselves, in listening to our intuition and trusting it–no matter what others are saying we should do differently–we can feel respected. And when we feel respected we often find ourselves listening with care to different ideas, opening ourselves to trying new things, and doing it all in respect to ourselves and our children. We can parent well.
I am pro-respectful parenting. This is a label I can live by.
With appreciation,
Alice
Author and Parent Coach
©2017 Alice Hanscam