Just Ask Alice

Something I’ve yet to directly address in my work is the commercialization of childhood and the marketing directed at our children. After a lengthy conversation with Susan Linn, author of Consuming Kids and The Case for Make Believe, I feel inspired to do so.

When our children are immersed in all the commercialization directed at them, unhappiness and unhealthy development ultimately reigns. As children grow, they are more likely to experience increased anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. By the time they are teens and young adults, this can be devastating.

It really does begin with our little ones and what we choose to let them see and do on digital devices, in the stores, online, in and with any media. 

Whether it is buying a meal from a fast-food chain and getting whatever toy depicting whatever character from whatever Disney or Pixar movie tucked in their take-out bag, or immersed in video games or apps on their device, a child is being sold. Sold a brand. Sold an image of who Someone Else thinks they should be. Sold ideas and beliefs and ways of life. And the truly disturbing part of all this? It is rarely, if ever, for the good of the child.

It IS for money and power. Not our child’s power, but the companies and CEOs and the tech world’s power. If it was for the child’s power, then there would be NO marketing towards our little ones. Instead, we would see complete respect for childhood by protecting and defending what healthy development is. And now we would more likely have the healthy, successful, thriving adults, communities, and world we strive for.

That healthy development? Commercialism has no place in it.  

Those cute little toys that depict your child’s favorite movie? It’s supporting the marketing directed at kids–watch our amazing movie and then you’ll want to buy our stuff, and then you’ll want to watch and buy even more. Rarely, if ever, are all those cute little toys something that enhances childhood. Typically a child will play with them based on how they saw them behave in the movie or video or ad they watched. Not their own ideas, but someone else’s. This may not seem like such a big deal, and it probably isn’t when it is just  now and again. Yet over time and consumption hours, it becomes a very big deal. Our child is now being robbed of the opportunity to create and imagine her OWN ideas and thoughts. To decide for herself how she wants a doll to behave or what a cape is used for. Fast forward to teen years, and it can translate to believing someone else knows better how she is to clothe her body, use her body, what to put in her body.

Those video games and fun apps? Often “persuasively designed.” What does that mean? Designed to intentionally hook and even addict your child onto something that they will now want more of–and pester you until you buy more. And more. Video games ramp up with inappropriate content. Apps are sold to “make your child smarter!”, “learn to read faster!” and whatever other “bait” used to convince you this is for your child’s good.

It rarely is.

Those video games get worse. The violence alone should be enough to say no to them, but that “persuasive design” has our kids hooked. It can be hard to say NO to a teen who has flipped out or is incredibly depressed. And it just keeps getting worse. Why are these games continued to be developed? Because we (or at least our teens and young adults) buy them. Money and power, remember?

Something that really bothers me is how all of this marketing and commercialism emphasizes focusing “out there” on needing “things” in order to BE happy, smart, to have fun, to get exercise, to come up with way cool ideas. 

It can rob our children of the necessary and important opportunities to…

…think their OWN thoughts, come up with their OWN ideas, decide what they like and don’t like and want to do based on healthy experiences with the world around them.   

…discover and strengthen their resilience when facing challenges–resilience that requires time to reflect and think and be bored in order to tap into feelings and how to manage them. Resilience that requires persistence and determination as a child works through a problem or challenge in their own way.

…connect authentically and meaningfully with others and the world around them. Now their connections reflect more of what a certain character did–such as Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers back in my daughter’s preschool years. Kids “played” Ninjas and Power Rangers which meant they kicked and swept their arms around and pushed and hollered. It can seem cute to us when they copy the play of something they saw on TV or did on a device. Yet play? It is meant to be an expression of themselves from the inside out. A chance to work through feelings, to express and act upon ideas, to imagine and create. To think for themselves.

With necessary and healthy time protected from the commercialism that engulfs our culture, children grow from the inside out:

~ They can feel strong and answer many of their own needs from within themselves, rather than always seeking more more more from “out there” in order to feel good. Commercialism begets reactiveness. No way to live on a regular basis.

~ They have a profound ability to imagine, pretend, create–necessary for learning all through life.

~ They manage their OWN feelings and understand them so much better. This self-regulation? It is key for living and relating well; for developing compassion and empathy; for understanding another’s perspective.

~ They learn productive ways to negotiate with a buddy, to listen to someone else’s ideas, collaborate, create, and then act upon them. This exchanging of ideas with another? This is very different from seeing a video and getting ideas from it. With a person, in real time, there is a richness, there is meaning, there is true hands-on, sensory and language rich collaboration within a relationship. Everything a child needs to grow well.

We need to push back on marketing directed at our children. We need to help our children recognize when advertising is directed at them and how wrong that can be. We need to take care in the choices we make as we move through our days–take care in the apps, games, print material, stores, videos, shows, etal that we allow our children to use, play, read, immerse themselves in. We need to be clear on what our children need the most to develop well from one age to the next. We need to protect our children from a culture immersed in commercialism and give them the time and space to BE children.

Now they are more likely to become adults who can live life

balanced, recognizing their own needs, feeling their own power, and standing strong in what is right and good as they, too, bring

children into the world. 

Respectfully,

Alice

Author and Parent Coach

©2020 Alice Hanscam