Tag: Stress

Building Resilience in Our Children

June 22, 2020 denaliparentcoaching@gmail.com Children and Families, Healthy relationships, Social Emotional Comment

Resilience…the ability to manage and move through struggle productively. And struggles we will all have. Helping to grow children able to draw upon their inner strength and appropriate coping mechanisms is key for healthy living. Here is what I gathered together for a handout shared at a workshop with parents:

What can resilience look like?

Sticking with a frustrating experience—whether it is working through a really tough school assignment, a little one FINALLY (and with great pride) getting shoes tied on her own after focusing and fussing and trying again all morning long, or perhaps working hard at getting up the icy sledding hill no matter the backwards slide that seems to defeat the goal…       

Picking yourself up again following yet another failure—such as forging ahead to study even harder as yet another school assignment came back with a poor grade; deciding to practice a dance routine endlessly after getting cut from the school talent show—because you KNOW another chance will come and you want to be ready; a baby pulling herself up, falling, bonking her head, crying, and still pulling herself up once again…

Grieving successfully—experiencing loss via a death, change of any sort, or separation (even from those special stuffed animals that need to, at times, get washed) can cause feelings of grief.  By giving all feelings a chance to be expressed, to feel supported and safe in the midst of all the big feelings, to have resources to turn to—and to turn to them—is key for moving through any loss.

Coping with any stress in healthy ways—whether it is actively breathing through another morning rushed for time and actually staying calm despite everyone else falling apart; a child being allowed to feel mad and sad about the big move to a new town, house, and/or school—and given ways to share his feelings in productive ways; or perhaps your child bursting with energy following a long day at school—and given the opportunity to burst! Followed by a good snack…and maybe some down time… 🙂

What do our children need to be resilient?

~ To feel strong from within themselves and the awareness they can “turn within” to draw upon this strength

~ Close, connected, caring relationships with their adults–trust is built upon these and trust is key.

~ To feel in control of themselves—managing feelings, feeling capable, able to problem solve, can count on a trusted adult to have confidence in their abilities.

~ Ability to make healthy, productive choices in order to process stress–and having been shown what these are as their trusted adult role-models often.

~ Time to play, for children–younger ones especially–use play for processing experiences. Often non-adult directed and uninterrupted, creative and imaginative play.

 What does building resilience in our child require from us?

~Being the calm, connected, consistent guide that they can count on

~ Naming and affirming feelings; showing them appropriate ways to express them

~ Respecting struggle—step back and resist fixing, rescuing, berating as your child struggles. See struggle as an opportunity for growth and learning rather than a problem to fix.

~ Giving our kids plenty of opportunity to be in charge of themselves (age appropriately) so they can learn from the inside out that they are capable, competent souls.

~ Noticing daily what is working for your child to manage struggle—in little or big ways. “You really stuck with that…I noticed how reading books in your room helped you calm yourself…You asked for help just when you needed it the most…You kept your hands to yourself! That took a lot of self-control…” What we focus on grows.

Resilience! A strength for a lifetime of wellness.  

 

A bit more from me:

Know that all you do to respect your child’s feelings, time to play, ability to solve their own problems as you walk beside them listening and asking questions, the more they can grow their selves from the inside-out. Strength! And a solid foundation from which to navigate the ups and downs of life.

Know that the more you focus first on yourself, calming your own anxieties down, pausing in order to respond instead of react, the more you communicate to your child your confidence in their ability to move through any struggle.

Find Alice’s books here!

Resilience. We get plenty of opportunity to roll up our sleeves and dig in deep–whether it is daily parenting stress or a pandemic. Give your child the gift of your resilience as you help them build their own.

With JOY and appreciation,

Alice

Author and Parent Coach

©2020 Alice Hanscam

 

 

One Role at a Time

May 12, 2020 denaliparentcoaching@gmail.com Children and Families, Healthy relationships, Positive and Respectful Parenting, Screen Time and Technology, Self-care, Social Emotional Comment

Recently I connected with a parent and colleague with whom I send work to for sharing with parents she works with. I have experienced a dry period with writing for all of you and I shared that with her.

Life with Covid-19 has challenged many of us in ways we never have experienced before. Working from home or not working at all, home-schooling, on-line learning, hunkered down, social distancing, masks or no masks, curbside pick up or go into stores, Zoom time with those we love but cannot see in person, separation–physical and emotional. Isolation. Close quarters. Illness. Sometimes limited food supplies and other essentials. Loss and grief on many, and sometimes surprising, levels.

Our exchange became lifting and inspiring for both of us–something so necessary now, more so than ever. Her words inspired my words; my words inspired her.I’d like to share them here:

Dear Alice,

It isn’t easy at the moment. I am taking each day as it comes, however it is a struggle to school my two children each day, look after the house and family and work. I have decided that the only way to retain any kind of composure is to only do one role at a time – and so the children get my attention all day and work squeezes into evenings…

Yesterday, we were shaken by the government announcing another 6 weeks of lockdown. It feels really tough…

I know how you feel about writing. I find that there’s no point in forcing productivity when it comes to pen and paper. And when I come out of a heavy creative period then I always need a break. I can’t imagine how you must feel after completing a book!

Thank you for the offer for me to send another situation for you to write about for Family5. I will do so soon. We are finding that in the current crisis, families are a lot more focused on just getting through each day than making bigger changes, even though to do so might help them get through the days better…

All the best,

Lucy

Her words touched me–both about her own struggles, other parents’ struggles, and my own. I was struck about the gifts, hidden beneath the struggle, our health situation has given us..  Here is what I wrote back:

Dear Lucy,

You are discovering the most important and healthy way to live–by being fully present to what you are doing and whom you are with right now: “I have decided that the only way to retain any kind of composure is to only do one role at a time.”

This is one of the gifts our unusual and difficult times gives us–a reminder to be present. What a difference it can make–truly relationship-building, and soul-strengthening. 

Some people have likened bringing a book to publication to having a baby :-). It has never felt this way to me, and yet I appreciate the analogy, for in a way I feel rather saturated right now. Though it is only partially the book; more so the current reality we are living in. I am grateful to hear from you that life isn’t easy and you are giving your full focus to your family, first and foremost, and that is what you are finding families are doing, as well–not working on the bigger changes, and just trying to get through each day. This is how I feel about everything on-line–there is too much help out there! It becomes overwhelming.

You know, though, what many of us are trying to help parents recognize is that this slowing down and simplifying actually allows us to choose with intention how we want to respond–and it is in this that the present situation can evolve into those bigger changes that seemingly seem to have taken back seat. Helping others move from reacting through the day to being present, pausing, choosing with care what they do is key. Take screen time, for instance. It feels like increasing screens is the only way to make it through the day (with schools also going on-line). However…what we know for a fact is that too much is unhealthy for our children in a myriad of ways. Using this time as a way to pause and choose with care what we decide to do and rely on is essential for having success tomorrow and later. 

Big breath here…this is the most I’ve written in a while! You inspire me. 

Find all of Alice’s books here!

I send you love and encouragement and a PAUSE. Know that your presence “one at a time” to each role you play is living a kind of a pause. Let it strengthen you, even as it tires you!

Love,

Alice

©2020 Alice Hanscam

Let PAUSE Empower You

May 2, 2020 denaliparentcoaching@gmail.com Children and Families, Healthy relationships, Self-care Comment

I could tell you that we are bigger and greater than the world crisis we face and the struggles–emotional and physical–we each are immersed in.

I could tell you that if you *just* trust, all will be okay.   

I could tell you, over and over again, that EVERY single challenge is filled with opportunity and gifts. That all you have to do is look to what you can appreciate, to how you want to be no matter what the world (or your kids) throw at you, to keep your site fixed on what you want the most.

I could fill this post with platitudes. Yet you’ve heard them all before. And they are tiresome.

I think, even if I feel strongly about the times we are in and the gifts and opportunities and, yes, hope that it is filled with, everything I’d say could go right on by you; or you’d roll your eyes, or perhaps even get mad. These things just don’t feel helpful in the moment.

Because perhaps you ARE struggling. Scared. Hurting and frustrated and overwhelmed and stressed.

Maybe you manage it well–keeping those upsetting feelings aside or buried so your kids or other loved ones see you as strong.

Maybe you don’t manage it well and your world is collapsing around you.

Maybe you are dealing with a profound loss–a loved one, a job, a home. School!

Maybe you just can’t think about anything other than the next moment and getting through it while still standing.

I get it. I, too, find myself struggling–emotionally, mostly. I can get caught up in the “what if’s” of loss of a loved one. Of not being able to say good bye. Of having finances crash around me. Of never hugging one of my daughters again.

And I get tired, too. Of the new protocol we’ve adopted for cleaning–groceries, mail, ourselves, you name it. Of hearing about children’s struggles with on-line learning and the loss of friends and other milestones we’ve taken for granted; parent’s struggles with maintaining sanity through it all.

Here’s what I DO know. And I truly hope this doesn’t sound like those tiresome platitudes.

I know that we ARE far greater than the challenges we face. We are. You can feel it in the seemingly infinite number of You Tube videos, letters, posts, community efforts that are filled with support, encouragement, light-heartedness…with CONNECTION.

You can feel it in the continual and persistent presence of JOY that can fill us, ever so briefly at times, as we listen to these videos, read these letters, posts, or participate or be the recipient of community efforts. Joy that perhaps is expressed through those tears streaming down your face.

You sense it via the gratitude and hope that expand within you, no matter how short-lived, as you hear of the medical providers, scientists, and other Good Samaritans–all over our world–who are risking themselves, for us. Who speak to the progress, the support, the good and kind and possibilities and solutions. Who are working hard, for us.

And you can strengthen this expansive feeling within you. You can feel this gratitude, hope, lightness, even JOY more and more because you are far greater than the challenges you face.

How?

In many ways. In oh so many ways. For me, it always comes down to PAUSE, for this is what I feel empowers. It looks in many different ways…

…prayer can be a PAUSE that empowers
…meditation can be a PAUSE that empowers
…quiet can be a PAUSE that empowers
…breathing deeply can be a PAUSE that empowers
…appreciating can be a PAUSE that empowers
…gazing at a beautiful-to-you thing can be a PAUSE that empowers
…exercise you enjoy can be a PAUSE that empowers
…being still can be a PAUSE that empowers
…being fully present to right NOW can be a PAUSE that empowers. Even if that fully present is *just* to your very upset child, the crochet project you are working on, the next thing on your list for today, the mess you are in the midst of cleaning up.

PAUSE. No matter how your pause looks or how brief it is, it can empower you. It begins as a bit of calm…and grows into something so much more powerful. So much so I wrote an entire book on it. For you and for me.

Because times of struggle? No matter how great and overwhelming and scary? They call upon us to dig down deep into ourselves and slowly recognize how we, though maybe physically alone, are emotionally and spiritually so very, very connected. When we’ve been able to find that semblance of calm within us via our PAUSE, we begin to tune ourselves into this connection.

This is why we feel those moments of gratitude swelling up within us. Or why, just as we are thinking of our dear friend, they call us. Or how lifting it can feel to help another. This is why our children seem to do better, things settle a bit more at home, we feel steadier and stronger.

Connection. It is powerful.

We are living this now–often being physically far apart, and yet, the connection we can feel with each other and, well, EVERY one is very real. And it is empowering. We can strengthen this feeling within us and all around us as we create the PAUSE that works for us.

For whatever you do to pause–even if it is only in the latest button pushing moment when you are able to calm yourself even a little bit–it will empower you just a bit more.

What we focus on grows.

Today, I send you a PAUSE that empowers. Feel the connection that we are all living. Take a moment to recognize and appreciate it. Let the presence of this connection fill you, lift you, carry you forward.

Find PAUSE and all of Alice’s books here!

Then recognize that it begins from deep within you and is always there for you. Always. And this power you tap into as you strengthen your PAUSE will carry all of us forward in life-affirming ways, no matter what the world throws at us. This we can trust. I do.

Love and Light to each of you today.
Alice
Author and Parent Coach

©2020 Alice Hanscam

Let’s Talk Play

March 1, 2020 denaliparentcoaching@gmail.com Children and Families, Healthy relationships, School and education, Screen Time and Technology, Social Emotional Comment

Let’s talk play. And schools. And all things essential for children to grow well and optimally, to THRIVE.

It’s increasingly discouraging and concerning that the “new norm” for schools and many parents is that our younger children–think preschool through 3rd grade–see “seat work” and screen technology as what SHOULD be what school and learning is all about.

Thank you to Creative Child for their poster

It isn’t.    

And now I’ve recently learned how school districts have embraced play to be even LESS of a part of Kindergarten. Some to the extent of declaring NO play.

We’ve seen the push of inappropriate academics into lower and lower grades–inappropriate due to its demand for younger children to sit still longer, have incredible fine-motor skills as they navigate “seat work”, be exposed to screens regularly despite the American Academy of Pediatrics (and many early child development professionals, teachers, and the like) saying NO or LESS or ONLY within a rich, hands-on learning experience. To have shorter, if any, recess.

Here’s what I’m hearing about and seeing as a result of play–hands on, sensory and language rich, whole body and relationship based experiences–being displaced and even removed from schools:

 

~ 5-year-old boys being labeled ADHD because they cannot sit still at length to do this seat work being asked of them. It is normal for 5-year-old boys (and many little girls, too) to be unable to sit at length–they need to move move move. And yet, because we are demanding they SIT and have also removed much of their natural explorations via play and outdoor time (recess, dramatic play “corners”, blocks, games…), they of course are even more noticeably wiggly, distracted, “mis”-behaving, being seen as a problem and now labeled ADHD. Among other things.

~ Parents now struggling even more with their children. Think trying to get your 5 or 6-year-old to sit even MORE once they are home to do the homework they are now coming home with. Frustrations. Anger. Reactivity. Relationship depleting. Not the way to grow children excited to go to school, to learn, to be curious, creative, able to problem solve, read, etal…

~ Stress, depression, “mis” behavior increasing through the years for our children. Without the foundation of healthy living and learning, environments that support the play and exploration they need, our kids experience more and more stress on their young minds and bodies. Not a way to build for future healthy teens and adults.

~ Children labeled “behind” and needing special help if they aren’t reading when they leave Kindergarten. THIS is an entire post to be written about. Especially the HOW to “get them to read.” We’ve somehow forgotten that the average age of putting it all together reading-wise is 8. We’ve somehow forgotten that immersing them in all things literature from reading to and with them, telling stories, discovering what sparks them, giving them the respect of time and lots and lots of exposure to all things literature is often “enough.” Not always, but often. We WANT our children to WANT to read! Worth taking time to do so…

~ Teachers leaving the profession due to the continual and often detrimental choices being made by administrations that demand more and more of what many know is undermining our children’s emotional, physical, and mental health. These very teachers are the ones needed to mentor the younger teachers coming in who have often never experienced what a healthy and appropriate learning environment is for children. What it actually LOOKS like.

~ “No play” also translates to a lack of the essential and top priority social emotional growth our young children need in order to have the healthy foundation to continue through school as avid learners. THIS is essential, the social emotional–the working through feelings, friendship challenges, growing empathy and compassion, feeling meaningfully connected to others. Without this? Talk about a cracked foundation from which all else is expected to grow in solid ways.

~ Curriculum standards that are asking all teachers throughout a district to be on the exact same page in math or science or reading as every other teacher of the same grade. To expect that they can be. What a way to see our children as a mechanistic being–put in “ABC” and you’ll get out “DEF” no matter what. But they aren’t. They are humans. Sometimes they come to school hungry, sad, having lost a pet or a parent or just had nightmares and didn’t sleep or have some incredibly important story to share…and teachers WANT to be able to spend time on these important-to-children things. To pause in teaching a certain lesson at a certain time and talk about loss. Or friendships. Or listen to a child tell a story about something they saw that they are just bursting to tell. Talk about REAL and meaningful learning. Totally relationship building. And often lost in the midst of current curriculum standards.

I could go on. I often think about how test scores are driving everything, and that this translates into increasing “seat work” and decreasing or eliminating what children need plenty of time to do in order to learn well…

PLAY. Explore. Tousle. Debate. Get messy. MOVE. Create. Imagine.

 

Immerse themselves into play that has them feeling inspired to then draw pictures, write, tell stories, share, converse.

WANT to wait and listen because their teacher has more to tell them about something they are sparked about.

“Do” math by building with blocks, Legos, puzzles, creating patterns, counting out all the seashells, beads, bits of anything.

WANT to spend at length working on a book THEY write with their “inventive writing” and pictures and verbal telling of them.

Actually “sit still” as they get immersed in a story being read…and danced to, acted out about, discussed, laughed over.

I think about how my daughters’ first grade teacher had SO much going on in her classroom that had the kids moving around constantly (just what they needed), with hands-on experiences, lots of talk and song and activity. THEN she’d have them sit for 10-20 minutes doing “seat work”–and they COULD, because this was all it was and following so much wonderful movement. And was followed by even more “get up and go”!

I think about Steve Jobs and Bill Gates and many others who excel at all things technology (which seems to be one of the reasons so much “academia” is being pushed down, for kids to be able to “keep up” with our new world)–coming from a childhood filled with PLAY and exploration. Not screens. Not “reading by age 5.”

I think a lot (probably too much, I know!). And I encourage each and every one of you to stand strong and clear in your conviction that your children need plenty of time to PLAY. To go to a school environment rich in hands on, language and sensory rich, relationship based experiences. To have every possible opportunity to be enriched from a developmentally appropriate curriculum offered in your schools.

Find Alice’s books here!

Let your school board know what you think. Let your school district know what you want. Be proactive. Share with other parents. Find out what others are experiencing. Talk to your children’s teachers. Stand up for the health of your children, your families, our communities.

It is essential.

Thank you for listening,
Alice
Author and Parent Coach
©2018 Alice Hanscam

It’s HARD To Be Positive…

February 5, 2020 denaliparentcoaching@gmail.com Children and Families, Noticed and Appreciated, Positive and Respectful Parenting, Self-care Comment

 

Pause today as your buttons are pushed and the HARD gets in the way. Let go of trying to “Be positive!” It’s okay, you know, to be having one of THOSE days...or weeks…

Instead, find something you can appreciate.

 

Perhaps:

That you are still in-the-game despite what your kids are throwing at you. Nothing fun or positive about the resistance and ignoring and demanding that surrounds you…plenty to appreciate that you are still “in the game.” Even if you are throwing up your arms, losing your temper, or resorting to toast with peanut butter for dinner. You are still there.

The fact that your teen DOES join you at the table for dinner, even if s/he is full of eye-rolls and sarcastic responses…or no responses at all. Their physical presence counts even if their emotional presence is driving you nuts.

The persistence of your little one (a strength, really!) even if it is all about persisting with something that really isn’t okay. Like continuing to dump your potted plant’s dirt onto the floor despite your patient self stopping them and redirecting over and over again. Or NOT staying in bed and continually coming to find you when it is well past nap or bedtime. Or the back and forth grabbing and pushing as your two kids fight over who gets what–neither is really listening to the other, and both know exactly what they want. Persistence! It’s driving you crazy…

Perhaps how a friend reached out just as you felt yourself getting swallowed up by All Things Parenting. Your overwhelmed self found yourself sobbing on their shoulder…followed by feeling a sense of release, relief, and companionship. All Things Parenting will still be there, and now you have the reassurance of good company to help you through. It really does take a village to raise a parent!

Or maybe appreciate that 30 seconds you had this morning to close your eyes and breathe (and have a few sips of your coffee!) even though the rest of your day has been lost to the craziness of being everywhere for everyone and probably late…as usual. Those 30-seconds count. Think Self-Care Deposit.

Find all of Alice’s books here!

Positives can be tough. Appreciations are everywhere.

Try pausing and then appreciating today as things ramp up and the last thing you can do is “Look at the positive side!” Notice what is different for you as a result…and remember, what you focus on grows 🙂

Here’s to you.
Alice
Author and Parent Coach
©2020 Alice Hanscam

PAUSE. It Counts; It Connects.

July 25, 2019 denaliparentcoaching@gmail.com Children and Families, Healthy relationships, Positive and Respectful Parenting, Story Time! Comment

Pausing isn’t just for heated moments. It isn’t just for when you are in the midst of a conflict.

Pausing can be a way of life that influences EVERY thing you do in life affirming and meaningful ways.

Here’s a story for you that I’m sure you can relate to…

Your hands are a-flying as you stand, or rather dance about, at the kitchen counter, packing lunches, cooking breakfast, hollering over you shoulder to remind the kids to “Get dressed!”, “Pack your bag!”, “Would someone please let the dog in?!!”  

Kids are tumbling around each other, “Hey! MOOOVE! MOM, make her STOP!”, “I can’t find my bag!”, “The dog already IS in!” Or maybe, as you toss directions and pleas over your shoulder there is a general silence or “Sure mom”‘s tossed back with no follow through for your child is plugged in to a show or video game or maybe even (hopefully?!) a good book, like my daughter often was.

You scramble to finish up, admonishing the kids for arguing, talking back, dragging their toes, losing their bag, ignoring you as they watched a show, played a game, read a book. You finally get everything together, kids included, and you all pile out the door and into the car, off to wherever you are heading–most likely late and exhausted, because really YOU had to do most of everything once again this morning. Including breaking up fights and going on bag hunts, and letting the dog BACK out and in once again.

Whew. You finally drop the kids off and feel like you can at least breathe again. Most days feel like this–GO GO GO, arguing and scrambling until you finally can stop. Briefly. When you have a moment to reflect, you WISH things could go smoother, your kids would cooperate and help out more often, these GO GO GO experiences were minimal rather than the norm. Oh if ONLY…

Enter PAUSE.   

It really can change things in amazing ways–both momentarily and in the long term. What exactly does a PAUSE look like at these times? What exactly can it DO? Let’s replay it a bit:

Your hands are a-flying as you stand, or rather dance about, at the kitchen counter, packing lunches, cooking breakfast, hollering over you shoulder to remind the kids to, “Get dressed!”, “Pack your bag!”, “Would someone please let the dog in?”

Kids are tumbling around each other, “Hey! MOOOVE! MOM, make her STOP!”, “I can’t find my bag!”, “The dog already IS in!” ….

Here is where a PAUSE can make a real difference.

Instead of continuing to scramble and holler over your

shoulder and solve issues yourself, you still your flying hands, lean on the kitchen counter, close your eyes, and BREATHE.

 

Breathe in deeply, breathe out. Three times in a row can make an incredible difference. And then you turn around and LOOK.

You notice just exactly what is going on, who is fighting, who is ignoring, whether the dog is in or out, bags being packed. Maybe you’ve practiced this kind of pausing often enough that you find your eyes have a bit of a twinkle going and a little smile playing on your lips. Maybe not. Either way, you take a moment to look and notice.

You notice how lost in a good book your child is or how her eyes are glued to a video game. You notice the frustration on one child’s face as she is trying ever so hard to get her sibling to stop poking and bugging her. You notice that the dog IS in and your son is looking at you as if you JUST don’t GET it–of COURSE he heard the dog and let him in!

It is from this place that you can more likely interact in such a way that your children feel a warm and understanding connection with you. And with that in place, they are more likely going to step up and participate in more positive ways. Because YOU are taking the moment to really look and notice. Why? Keep reading…

Maybe you…

…go to your child immersed in the video game and put your hand on their shoulder and say, “I can tell you are having fun. It is time to stop and get ready to leave.”

…sit next to your lost-in-a-good-book child and as he looks up at you you can actually smile and ask what part he’s reading right now. Then remind him that it is time to head out and you need his cooperation. (It can feel like a big ask of you when time is of essence, and yet…this bit of a pause next to your child? It really takes but seconds.)

…look at your frustrated son with dog already in and say, “I’m sorry! I thought I was the only one who heard the dog at the door! I’m so glad you did, too. Thank you.”

…find yourself going up to your arguing children and putting a hand on each of them, and give them a moment to spill it all out to you. Then maybe all you say is, “I know you don’t like to be poked; I know you find it funny to poke. Now it is time to head out. I really need your help in getting things together…”

MAYBE your kids still argue, push back, ignore. Maybe you’ll still find yourself doing the bulk of the work. But here’s the deal. The more you take the moment to PAUSE, look, notice, and connect? The sooner your children will step up, cooperate, be willing and involved in the GO GO GO preparations. Maybe you are thinking, HA as IF I have time to slow down even the tiny bit you are asking! And that is where the paradox can lie with a PAUSE. It seems to take a bit more time, and then you discover how much better you can feel–and end up doing so much more or perhaps being content with what you DO get done 🙂

The more you take the moment to PAUSE, the more

likely you will influence your children, yourself, your days in

calming, positive, productive ways. And THIS

makes parenting a bit easier…

 

Find PAUSE and all of Alice’s books here!

So now, when you DO have a GO GO GO that just feels crummy all over again? It will be few and far between. Tip the balance today and weave a PAUSE into your full-speed-ahead mode. I know you will discover a kind of difference to your day that can leave you smiling!

With JOY,

Alice

Author and Parent Coach

©2019 Alice Hanscam

This is for YOU

December 3, 2018 denaliparentcoaching@gmail.com Children and Families, Positive and Respectful Parenting, Self-care Comment

I know. Really, I do. This pausing deal is extra hard–because really, it means taking even MORE time to do something. MORE time in order to respond to your child. And time? You don’t have much.

And then there’s what you keep hearing--Self-Care!

But taking ANY time for YOU is impossible. How many times do you hear “Self-Care!” and you cringe? Thinking…”Yeah, right. Self-care. As if. And even just thinking about time for me leaves me feeling even more overwhelmed and stressed!”

Parenting is HARD. Exhausting. Constant.

Would you like to feel better? Would you like to be able to say, “I DID do something for me and it left me actually feeling BETTER?”

Would you like to know, absolutely KNOW that by taking the moment to PAUSE, you actually end up having MORE time? In time, perhaps, yet definitely MORE time–mostly because as you’ve strengthened your ability to pause, you are now calmer and more connected with your children, and their “need” to act up for your attention dissipates, they actually listen to and hear you, you them…and this all translates to having MORE time. Really!

Same with those 30-second Self-Care deposits you actually CAN do. They add up. And they can leave you feeling like you have more time and that can leave you feeling a bit more relaxed…less overwhelmed. It’s a paradox, for sure, taking a bit of time and actually creating more time. And it’s surprisingly real. Maybe because, as you feel a bit better from knowing you’ve done something just for you, you have a bit more resilience. Pep. A lighter outlook to your day. Or maybe as you find you do something just for you, you discover its okay to let go of a few things, to relax a bit about the mess and chaos, go with the flow just a tad more.

So HOW do you get better at pausing and depositing into your Self-Care Savings Account? Here’s where I encourage you to take a look at both of my books. Kindle or the actual books. They are journaling style, so I like having the real thing–to write in and flip through. Kindle’s good, too, though .

They can be found on Amazon–right here: https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2…

I hope you’ll take a look. They are short. Easy to read and feel encouraged and lifted even if you can only read one page at a time. Share with others. Write me a review on Amazon. That’s always appreciated! Discover how you really can create the kinds of positive change you want the most AND no longer be overwhelmed. At least most of the time :-).

Find Alice’s books here!

Today you CAN pause. You CAN take care of you. You CAN feel so so much better.

You are worth it. And so are your children.


Alice
Author and Parent Coach